The President was joking. How to change the humor of Vladimir Putin

The President was joking. How to change the humor of Vladimir Putin

Forbes leads the brightest and most memorable replica of the Russian President for 18 years.


Today the President of Russia Vladimir Putin four hours communicated with journalists, as always, on a wide range of topics. Answering a question of journalists of VGTRK Sergey Brilev, wouldn’t the increase in military spending to cuts in social spending, Putin said the “quite modern joke”: “To the former officer comes the son, he is son asks, “Then Dirk was, where is he?” — “Don’t swear, I changed it to watch the boy from a neighboring yard”. — “Show me watch, Yes, good. And if tomorrow will come the bandits to us, will kill me, mother, brethren, sister raped. And you what do you say? Good evening, Moscow time 12 hours 30 minutes?”.

Jokes and jokes from Vladimir Putin long become a separate genre of political communication. With the years this art has been perfected: if the first term was a period of abrupt and even rude humor, often not intended for the General public and laced with jargon, by the third term, the jokes became more like parables. In them looking for clues, hidden meaning, but most often it is succinct and pungent synthesis of the situation.

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Third presidential term (2012-present)

“We have a joke: the pessimist and the optimist. Pessimist drinks cognac, frowns and says: “Bedbugs smell.” As an optimist catches a bug on the wall, crushes him, sniffs and says: “Cognac smacks”. Better to be a pessimist, who drinks cognac than an optimist who sniffs bugs” (speech at the International discussion club “Valdai”, speaking about the international situation).

In the Georgian school, the boy asked: “Givi, how many will be twice two? Boy says to teacher: “and we buy or sell? (at the conference onf in Rostov, in the debate about the revival of the specialized school and the teaching of mathematics, which, according to the President, “we must give a new breath”).

“There are two friends, one asks the other, well, they say, how’s it going? He says that life in the strip and now he has a black stripe. It takes some time, meet again, again — well, how are you doing now? — Yes, the black strip! — How so, because last time was black. — As it turned out, the last time it was white…” (at the annual press conference in 2015, answering the question about when the Russian economy out of the crisis).

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“Want to hear a joke about the Israeli army? The young soldier asked: “If you go, say, 20 terrorists, what are you going to do?” “I’ll get the ultrasound and I will shoot you” — “well Done. But if you are the tanks?” “I’ll take the grenade launcher and will defend myself” — “well Done. And if the planes are flying and tanks are, and the terrorists come?” He said: “General, Sir, but am I the only one fighting in our army?” And I wanted to ask: am I the only one, except here on this panel perform?” (at the plenary session of the forum “Russian energy week”, Putin joked about the excessive attention devoted to it).

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“One tycoon went bankrupt and talking with his wife. He says to her: you know, we have to sell the Mercedes and buy a “Lada”. Well, fine. We’d have to move out of the mansion on the ruble in an apartment in Moscow. Normal-normal. You will love me? She says to him: I will be very loving. And I’m gonna miss you” (at the International discussion club “Valdai” in response to the request to run for President).

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The Chairman of the government (2008-2012)

“All these eight years I plowed like a galley slave” (at a press conference in the Kremlin in 2008).

“A spy comes to Lubyanka and said, want to give up. There he asked: do You spy what country? American? Then in the fifth room. They ask: are You American spy, and the weapon have? If there is, in the seventh room. In the seventh asked: do you have special communication? If there is, then, in the 20th. As 20th said, and the job you have? — Is. — Well, then go, perform, and do not disturb people’s work” (about the problems of bureaucracy and corruption in Russia).

“The General asked: and your son can become a General? — Can. — A Marshal? — And Marshal your son is” (the answer to the question of Deputy Director of the College of Wellesly Davis Center Marshall Goldman about why the son of the head of the FSB Nikolai Patrushev is working in “Rosneft”).