One hack, while others sit at home. How (and why) men go on leave to care for a child in Russia. The Story Of “Medusa”

One hack, while others sit at home. How (and why) men go on leave to care for a child in Russia. The Story Of “Medusa”

In Russia in a three-year leave to care for a child for ten years, since 2007, has the right to leave not only the woman. It can make dad or any other member of the family — grandma, grandpa or aunt, but only one.

The situation when this possibility is a man in Russia is a rarity — the education of children is still not considered a man’s job. But even if the men are ready for it, they may not understand the employers, as happened with Slava Nasonov, which was denied at the interview in “RosEvroBank” due to the fact that two years earlier he was sitting at home with the child. “Jellyfish” to find out how often do Russian men go on leave to care for a child in Russia — and for what reasons, what it helps and what problems it creates for both parents.

“Europe is coming, or what?”

“Yesterday my husband was denied a position. Due to the fact that he was on leave to care for a child two years ago,” wrote on 20 October in Facebook Muscovite Catherine Arnaud. This was the second round of his interview in “RosEvroBank”; the first, which discussed his professional qualities, the man was successful. “Europe is coming, that you?” “What about his wife not sitting with child?” “The hospital will take the baby?” — Arnaud listed some questions asked by her husband to the Bank’s employees.

Vyacheslav Nasonov, husband of Catherine Arnaud, says that the interview in “RosEvroBank” went well until, until he explained the reasons for the recent break in employment.

After that, it ceased to be taken seriously: according to men, the Bank staff began to treat him like a “naughty schoolboy” and not a contender for a solid position. “”Really?!”, “And what will you work week, and three weeks to sit at the hospital with the child?”” recalls Nasonov their taunts. After that, his skills no longer interested; the man refused saying, “No, such employees we do not need! Why did you come? You now have spent our time in monetary terms is more than earned in my entire life.”

The post Arno, a few hours shared hundreds of outraged users, as the representative of “RosEvroBank” wrote in the comments that this situation “is not compatible with our rules and deserves close attention.” Arno and her husband promised that they would contact the HR Director at the Bank.

Later representatives of “RosEvroBank” reported that did not find an “official refusal to the candidate for employment for any discriminatory reasons.”

They stressed that several men from among the Bank’s employees right now who are on leave to care for a child and receive benefits, and the Bank shares “the concerns of companies raised issues” and adheres to the principles of tolerance in its personnel policy.

The situation when a man takes leave to care for a child in Russia, if not quite exotic, it is still quite rare. Says the expert on work with the personnel with more than 25 years of experience, Maria Savina, a decade ago this situation was hardly imaginable. According to the survey of Fund “Public opinion”, the idea of the male leave for child care supports an increasing number of Russians in 2017 to her “rather positive” attitude 77% of respondents, while in 2011 this figure was 11% less. In practice, the situation is different: according to the research center portal SuperJob, by the end of 2015 men went on leave to care for a child only 2% of families.

One reason for this conservatism — bias to address fathers”decretion” faced by Vyacheslav Nasonov. They are still often referred to as “broads” and “losers”, including women themselves. “As a husband to respect and covet?”.

Such men even reduced production of testosterone. I effeminate husband is not exactly need…

“What is the decree for men? I’m in shock from reading the stories is the degradation. A road to nowhere. If a man can not earn, then he’s available,” write subscribers will instagram about psychology, discussing the topic “the Husband in the decree.” Many doubt that a child raised by a man who can grow a full. Therefore, even in families where men took care of the child after his birth, the couple often are not ready to talk about it.

“Wives of such husbands are the happiest”

By the time of the birth of a daughter, Sonya Catherine Arno for seven years he worked in television, and her career went well. Vyacheslav has had two years of work in the Bank. The child was first, and before the birth of the girl’s parents decided that the maternity leave will go father. “I have more seniority, salary, and flexible schedule, says Arno. — I gave birth to a daughter on August 15, went to work on October 17. We, here, quite honestly, hung house schedule: green handle husband’s business, the orange — and- mine.” The family planned to do without the help of nannies or grandmothers, so it was important to structure is to build a schedule so that one of a pair was always home with the baby.

According to Katrin, her husband took leave to care for a child in Department of social protection, and the benefit was minimal.

But the family was more important not money, and the fact that Vyacheslav will take over the main care of the child, and it will be included in his experience.

“We must have miscalculated, — says Arno. — [Needed to formalise his work], then the benefit would be greater, and the workplace would be preserved. But he left work to be with me for the last time. When a child swallowed water and was in intensive care, and then to the hospital, my husband was always there. He taught her to walk. Her first word was “Papa””. According to Catherine Arnaud, wives of husbands and children of such fathers — the most happy: “All of our friends would say that he magically manages to get along with children, they love it”.

Katrin said that in recent years, their social circle has changed a bit: with some friends, the pair gradually ceased to communicate because of negative comments and ridicule over the distribution of responsibilities in their family. They were supported by even not all relatives: Catherine recalls how surprised relatives: “why, you rotten, and a man is sitting at home?” Other openly called Vyacheslav “gigolo” and “second child”. Despite this, the couple had no doubt that they are doing the right thing: Catherine and Vyacheslav believe that once the child has two parents, both should be involved in education. “It’s a tremendous work, and it is difficult to find a husband who would agree to share equally the care of the child,” says Catherine Arnaud.