“Yes, I’m fat. And that’s how I live”

“Yes, I’m fat. And that’s how I live”

Recognition of one woman about why she is not afraid to call myself fat and how her weight affects her life.

Not so easy to love your body when you have obesity. While some are trying to restore the damaged reputation of completeness, Melissa confesses that the word applies to itself. And she doesn’t like it.

When I get up from the place to make a presentation at work, you know perfectly well: the first thing people will notice is my size, and not myself.

I am literally the elephant in the room, which it is impossible not to notice.

I always start the conversation like this: “you Know, my job is very stressful! A week ago I was size 12 [equivalent to the Russian size 46 approx. Russian service Bi-bi-si], and now look at me!”.

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Why do I do so? Why mock myself? Why should I make it clear to everyone that I am fully aware of your problem and we can already talk about something else? Because I strong, fat woman.

I’m not afraid of the word “fat.” I do not hide my size under clothing and not say that I have a figure shape of an hourglass. I’m fat, and this fact is not hidden.

I would describe myself as a pile of big balls and boxes. In me there is not a single place except the wrist, which could be called small. My face is a big circle. My chest size is 46 °F (European size 105F) warm my belly.

Actually I have several of them. Bellies. And on my mottled skin visible stretch marks.

In such a society as I perceive in a special way — we are disgusting, fat, careless, lazy, stupid and incompetent.

However, it’s weird when you can see from everywhere and you occupy all the space around, for some reason, I feel invisible. People try not to look at you. I feel the mockery, disdain and ridicule.

And although some people think I’m body positive and I admire this quality, I can’t help but feel the hatred and the pain of thinking that my fat is not going anywhere.

To say the word “fat” is not easy. But the only way I can Express what I am.

Sometimes I think that some things I only do in order to justify its existence. For example, participation in charity and good behavior in life. I wear caps with the words “best Manager”, “great friend”, “rough daughter” everywhere where only can.

In a sense I was lucky: I’m a typical fat woman in the sense that I’m fun, independent, I have many friends. And I have African roots to be a bit chubby for a black woman is considered acceptable.