#It was me: men in social networks is recognised harassment and violence
Social networks continue to debate painful for the whole world on the topic of sexual harassment raised in connection with the scandal around Harvey Weinstein.
After an extensive investigation The New York Times and The New Yorker dedicated to one of the major Hollywood producers, sexual harassment and sexual violence on the part of the Weinstein told several dozen women who were not mentioned in the original investigation.
Among the women subjected to harassment from the famous producer — Gwyneth Paltrow, Angelina Jolie, Lea seydoux, Asia Argento, Cara Delevingne, Ashley Judd, rose McGowan and many others. On 19 October they were joined by the Oscar-winning actress, Kenyan actress Lupita nyongo, and then talking about the issue all over the world.
Recently, the actress alyssa Milano (Phoebe from “Charmed”) started in the Twitter flashmob #MeToo (“me too” or “Me too”), calling the victims of harassment and sexual violence to share their experiences. The aim of the campaign is to shift focus from the rapist (in particular, Weinstein) for those who have suffered from violence and to show the scale of the disaster.
In flashmob was attended by thousands of people, including singer Lady Gaga, actress America Ferrera, who confessed that for the first time faced harassment at the age of nine, and star of the TV series “Westworld” is Evan Rachel wood. The actress spoke about that was raped repeatedly.
The second time was easier. My body remembered what it was and just passed out. After that I had to learn all over again: to experience joy, empathy, have sex, cry. Due to the fact that I was mocked and called “loose girl” I thought I deserved it.Evan Rachel Sozvezdia series “the wild West”, the actress
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The actress wrote that went through years of condemnation, problems in relationships and psychotherapy and sees progress.
“To share this and to feel not alone really helps. Thank you for listening to me,” wrote wood.
The flashmob was supported in France, Germany, India and some other countries.
At some point in the Network appeared the thought: what if we lived in a world where after the incident a sex scandal with Weinstein not women launched a flash mob, and men began to confess harassment under the hashtags #ItWasMe (“It was me”)?
Very soon men actually began to speak under the aforementioned hashtag. Currently, Facebook and Twitter under #ItWasMe (“It was me”) and #YesIHave (“Yes, I did”) has dozens of stories.
“1. I have participated in, or were witness to hundreds of “men’s” locker room talk, full of misogyny.
2. I knew and said nothing about the fact that my friends acting inappropriately with women will work for them shows strength. Now I know that was supposed to investigate, to intervene, but I was morally perverted, and far more concerned with his own comfort to do it.
3. In the 7-9 class at the school dance, one girl agreed to come with me in a special kissing booth for (these are sometimes put on festivals and parties — approx. ed.) and tried to kiss her in French. It was the violence.
When she ran out and began to tell their friends that I was trying to shove her tongue into the throat, I lied that it was exactly the opposite. It was gaslighting (a form of psychological violence, whose main task — to cause a person to question the objectivity of his perception, and in reality itself — approx. ed.).
By the way, if I was involved an oral oath of allegiance with another girl, knowing that everything that happens is a lot of fun.
I haven’t thought about it for more than ten years, but now I am ashamed. I was 12-13 years old, but this shit starts when you’re a kid.
A few months ago, I would have to say that never did anything bad to women, but only because I simply didn’t think about his actions over the years and had almost forgotten about this case.
The fact that millions of women who write “me too”, had no choice in this life, they had only the choice now to share your experience within the mob or not. Many people have the courage to do it. I like the guy, had a choice from the beginning, and I did wrong.
However, I have had the courage to write your thoughts. Friends, I know that each of you will find a dozen similar stories. Where are you? Why silent? It’s time to meet face-to-face with your inner shit, realize it and tell about it to prevent this in the future. Unfortunately, I can only speak for myself: “me too.” And you?”
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“Too often (so much that it is impossible to calculate) I put my sexual hunger rather than emotions and personal boundaries of women. There is one case about which I’m ready to tell. This does not mean that it was the only time I was violent, although I would like to think so.
I was 19, I dated a girl and she repeatedly told me in plain text that are not ready to have sex with me. Once I left it for the night, and after she fell asleep, excited and tried to enter her. She immediately woke up, quietly pulled me and asked me to go to sleep. Only a few years later I realized that she had so calmly react because she was afraid. In her world I could easily be angry and do not adequately respond to her refusal with violence.
Now I realize that every time put your own sexual needs above other people’s feelings and personal boundaries — I was molested by women. I felt powerful, showed the initiative, assuring myself that pushing a woman for the common good, just helping her to relax and loosen up.
Whatever the result in each case, the manifestation of perseverance made me feel better, I have asserted themselves in their own irresistibility.